Hopeless

I'm trying to break down the meaning of success, When going through life trying to find it, and on the way, you feel less of who you're trying to become in the first place. You would think I would have scars on my face, from how many times I fell from life's misfortunes, tripping on every fucked up moment, trying not to blow my anger out of proportion, What is the meaning of reaching success? When I feel lost in my own brain, trying to maintain the shit I have to accomplish, wishing I had what I want already, just to with pass the stress that's getting unsteady. My hard work seems unnoticed, but then again, I'm trying to stay focused, I'm trying to find my success within myself, but my confidence is somewhere on the shelves, along with the books that my head should be in, but my success is hidden away from motivation. I been reaching, reaching for the highest parts of my strength to remain strong, but I don't how long I can stand, I don't know if my two feet is where I'll land; my power is regaining into weakness. How I know my success will define me, but how can success define me if it can't find me, or I can't find it; my blood shot eyes shouldn't be this lit with my tears, and for all these years, these tears still feel lost like my eye lids enslaved them from exiting. I feel lost in my own skin, and sometimes I believe that I'll never win. I feel closed off to the world like I don't belong, though I seem to get along with everyone, but my company contains no one. What is success, when failure only seems like an option?