A Hopeless Romantic Love Letter

I fight myself,

More times than I would like.

One side feels utterly worthless.

The other feels like I should deserve the world,

The same words parents repeat

I want to breathe in whatever love spell

Others have found in their partners.

Find the rare ingredients.

Brew it to a broil.

And pray to the skies that it works.

I don't want the kind that reflects my self-hatred,

But --

The kind that treats me the way I hope happiness

Feels,

Tastes,

And sounds like.

The kind that

Like how April showers hydrate May flowers,

I want you to water me with security

The kind that

Every time I look next to me in bed,

You are there.

And I don't feel as though there is

A jaded glass window seperating us.

I want to hear the gentle snore when you are comfortable,

View the small nose twitch when you have a nightmare.

Having your leg across mine,

You say it's because you want to feel warmer, but it's also

So you could feel closer to me

The kind that

I am able to reflect that very love

Back to you

And you would feel that same joy

You gave to me.

Because I love you

And you love me, even more than I could imagine

I know that the lonely, sleepless nights I have now

Are nothing compared to the sweet dreams I will have,

When I finally meet you.