Horse Shit

It was my wedding day I was marrying the perfect wife,

Or I thought I was until horse shit ruined my life.

It started in the church everything according to plan,

I was wearing my new suit and there was Digby my best man.

In came the bride stunning in her gown,

I was nervous at the time but then I settled down.

The service was a treat no problem there at all,

Everyone was happy as we had the photo call.

We left the church at noon and headed for reception,

She wanted to feed her horse which is where I took exception.

Not wanting any trouble I agreed she have her way,

We took a detour to the stable and fed the horse some hay.

Looking in the stable I mentioned fun and frolics,

Her horse looked round at me and kicked me in the bollocks,

Not content with that its tail began to rise,

And all over my new suit was a mucky horse surprise.

My bride began to shout and blamed me for the mess,

Her horse had shit on me and I was getting stress.

She said she loved her horse and I was really cruel,

So now I’ve been divorced because of that damn mule.