hospitalization rant

some people think it’s hard to cut yourself.it’s not. all it takes is the will of wanting your pain to disappear. it fucking hurts to have that be your only cope but it works for a moment as you watch your blood seep to the surface. after that your head fills with thoughts, anxiety takes over; cut, clean, bandage, long sleeves, REPEAT. more often than not, it happens again and again. if the constant battle of wanting to do it isn’t enough, situations get harder to handle. More tears, more thoughts, more doing. Its a never-ending cycle. Pretty soon your arm or leg or sides are filled with scars that you cant let show. If you cut deep enough your scars rainbow over and those are the truly ugly ones.