How to Act Around Them

Don’t be chipper. Chipper is fake. It sounds patronizing. It makes him turn, face glaring, voice raised. Don’t look away. Looking away tells him you want to be somewhere else. Don’t let him know that you want to be somewhere, anywhere else. Always smile. Smile or he’ll get annoyed. You aren’t allowed to feel. Don’t argue. Argue and you’ll only dig yourself deeper into the hole he has thrown you in. Look him in the eye. He wants you to give him all your attention. Don’t talk about yourself. He may talk about you and your problems, but he doesn’t really want to know. You know this, don’t pretend you haven’t learned. Don’t speak sarcastically. He can pick it up even if it isn’t there.

Don’t speak in the morning. Your vocal range is dead and anything you say sounds the same. She thinks you’re doing it on purpose. Don’t say no. No is invalid and you aren’t allowed to say it. Not to her, not to anyone. Don’t throw things. It’s been years, but you still remember. She hates it. Don’t beg. If you beg then you know it’s wrong. If you beg than it’s bad. She’ll take it away faster. Don’t complain. You are spoiled. She’s already given you so much- who are you to complain. Don’t bring up things from the past. It’s your fault she had to do that- don’t act like it wasn’t. Don’t act like you don’t know. Don’t try to bargain. You’ll just get the worse end of the stick.

Don’t do anything wrong. Don’t step out of line. Don’t say anything to anyone. Don’t be yourself. You are the reason that it’s like this. It’s because of you, not them. Don’t blame them for something that is your fault. Don’t talk about them. Don’t talk about what they do. Don’t talk about what they’ve done. You deserved it anyways.