How can this be?

How can this be?

He can’t possibly love me.

He’s handsome and smart. While I’m just…nothing.

I don’t matter to anyone especially not to him.

So how can he say that I truly matter to him?

But when he looks at me, I can hardly breathe.

The way he smiles, I can’t help but to blush.

How can that be?

He must be insane to think of me and want me in that way.

I’m not that smart or funny and I always forget where I left my keys.

I am super clumsy, no seriously when we kissed once- I sorta chipped his tooth on accident but still, it was embarrassing. I for sure thought that he never wanted to see me again. Ugh.

But then he smiled at me and held me close.

He thought it was cute, Ah! I’m cute! I’m soo cute! Yes, I’m fucking adorable!

I thought to myself, How can this be?

He can’t possibly love me!

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping alone, but he’s cheering me on!

Sometimes I have struggles with busy schedules but he helps in anyway that he can.

Ever since I can remember I have always felt like I was a mistake.

Like no matter what I do, I’ll never ever be good enough!

I can’t possibly go through another heartbreak again! My heart would not be able to cope!

I have no idea what the future holds but I know that I can’t ever let him go!

Here I am, babbling again. Sorry I didn’t mean to-crap. I say “sorry” a lot because I’m insecure most of the time. I’m hard on myself. I fear that I am going to end up as a failure in life. Though I smile and laugh, It just helps me hide all the pain and sorrow that lives down within me.

See, I have chosen long time ago that love was never real in the first place. I gave up on love and decided to close myself from any other man ever again because losing that special someone with that unbreakable connect with is just too hard. I never want to feel that again but no matter how hard I tried to push him away, he always pushed right back and broke my walls.

He hates it when I’m hard on myself, he tells me that I am very important and that I matter!

How can this be?

That he knows me so perfectly? As if he has known me my whole life. He knows exactly when I am sad and when I am beyond happy!

In my heart, I know that he is the only one for me! Wherever he goes, I go!

It's amazing to find that someone I can be so connected to! My best friend who knows me so well! Someone who can make me laugh until i choke because he always waits til I have food in my mouth to make me burst a uncontrollable laugh. That person that is always with you through your ups and downs. The person who pushes you to achieve greatest achievments. The personwho loves you for who you truly are.