How Can I

Let me just start With some words from my heart OK Here we go. How can I Be fixed, When all I see around me Makes me feel Like I'm less? When labels are put in quotes And "it's all in your head" When tears stain my clothes And "why aren't you out of bed" Are the questions they ask. Do they even see Who I am besides this? Do they think that their sins Will be missed? On that day, so far away, We'll ALL be exposed. So, miss high-and-mighty, How far will you go? And how can I Stop praying to die When all around me People tell me to fly? "It gets better", they say. Well, how would you know? You just struggled with The stuff in the flow! My struggles are made worse, Carrying more shame than yours. Lying doesn't matter, Against being a Dyke, Against feeling like I'm not right, Against the punishment I face, For having thoughts And desires through" lace ". How can I Stop feeling like I Am just looking through lattice Iron, stone cold bars? How can I Stop watching every thought, Remembering her, Who still beats in my heart? No wonder I pray, " Lord, just take me away... " Is this agony not enough? Apparently not. I'm still viewed as More broken than You. How can I Find a mentor to help, When all around me Honesty is quelled? No, nobody understands. Nobody who's not already "fixed". Well guess what?? I can't. I can't stop hating myself. I can't be fixed. I can't come to terms With this issue; I want to quit! To quit on life, To REALLY fly away, To never return... Not to this heartache and pain. How can I Start learning to fly Stuck where I am? Stuck... As who I am?