how can I not be

January 18, 2017

Growing up I didn't really have a mom

Or dad

I had to play that role from the first time we were left alone

Had to make my little brothers bottles, I was only 6

But what can I say you grow up fast

When all you ever seen was drugs and abuse around you it's certainly easy to fall into that cycle

I always told myself I'd never be like them

Never be like the people that were supposed to love us

Never be the one to turn my back on my brothers

Never be the one to treat anybody I cared about wrong

It really sucked when I got pulled into that

I became everything I said I never would

But then I found a girl

She made me shape up

It was like being in a dessert for days and finding a pond

She told me what I was worth I guess I never really heard anybody say that before

But like always I hurt the ones I care about

I can't really blame it on how I was raised because I could of chose to break the cycle but I didn't

And now here I am without her

Without myself

She's happily moved on and it's not like I'm not I just hate what I did to her

Like how could I break the one thing that made me happy

I promised her I was done with all these things because I really thought I was

But I wasn't

I wasn't done with any of it I had only started

It had only begun when I met her it felt wrong to end it all

So soon

But I look st my parents and I know I don't wanna be like them

But how can I not be

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