how can I not be

Growing up I didn't really have a momOr dad I had to play that role from the first time we were left aloneHad to make my little brothers bottles, I was only 6 But what can I say you grow up fast When all you ever seen was drugs and abuse around you it's certainly easy to fall into that cycleI always told myself I'd never be like them Never be like the people that were supposed to love usNever be the one to turn my back on my brothersNever be the one to treat anybody I cared about wrongIt really sucked when I got pulled into thatI became everything I said I never wouldBut then I found a girl She made me shape up It was like being in a dessert for days and finding a pond She told me what I was worth I guess I never really heard anybody say that beforeBut like always I hurt the ones I care about I can't really blame it on how I was raised because I could of chose to break the cycle but I didn'tAnd now here I am without herWithout myselfShe's happily moved on and it's not like I'm not I just hate what I did to herLike how could I break the one thing that made me happy I promised her I was done with all these things because I really thought I wasBut I wasn'tI wasn't done with any of it I had only startedIt had only begun when I met her it felt wrong to end it all So soon But I look st my parents and I know I don't wanna be like them But how can I not be

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