How Can It Be Love?

How can it be love

When the girl you say

You love

Is afraid to speak her mind?

 

How can it be love

When you say you love me

But I never said it back?

 

How can it be love

When you call me yours

But when did I consent to be property?

 

How can it be love

When you are so enraptured

In the wrapping paper

That you don't bother to pull it off

Of the box underneath -

Don't bother to see the box -

Don't bother to find out whats inside?

 

How can it be love

When I find myself googling

“Signs of an Abusive Relationship”

With a sickening feeling

That someone will validate

My fear.

 

How can it be love

When it has taken me years

To build up the courage

To tell friends about my

Pain and

Hurt and

Brokenness

That makes up this mess

That you see,

But you expect me

To pour my mind out

To you

Within weeks

With the simple reasoning of

“Because I love you”?

 

“Because I love you

You should kiss me”

After 1 week.

“Because I love you

You should sit next to me

So I can have constant

Contact and visual”

After 3.

 

I care too much.

I get attached.

I cry.

I can't make myself hate people

And I get hurt for it.

This is the occupational hazard

That comes with

Being me.

 

I will not let you

And your wrecking ball

Made of words

Slam through the wall

I hide behind,

The wall

I struggled to put up

After so many people

Tore through like twisters

And ripped my work

To the ground.

 

How can it be love?

I asked.

It cannot.

 

How can someone else

Show love after this?

They can show it through

Kindness

For everyone and everything,

Loyalty

To the relationship,

Trust

Being built,

Not expected.

 

It can be love

When they tell you

About their panic attack

Or their family death

It is because they trust you,

Not because they want to

Manipulate you

To stay.

 

It is love

When they listen to

Your fears

Your paranoia

Your secrets

And they consent

To work with you

To make sure

They never make you uncomfortable.

 

It is love

When whatever phrase follows

“Because I love you”

You can truly believe

That what they are asking

Or saying

Is actually out of love.

 

“Because I love you

I’d like you to text me

When you get home.

I want to make sure

You are safe”

After 1 week.

“Because I love you

Could you sit next to me?

I find your presence

Comforting”

After 3.

 

It is love

When you reciprocate

Their love.

 

It is love

When both of you

Consent.

This poem is about: 
Me

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