How Dare You

The more I think back,

The more ticked off I get.

How dare you compare our relationship to my sister’s,

When we’re not them, and you don’t even know anything about it?

How dare you always pull me toward you, barely avoiding crossing a line, 

Even when I said no?

How dare you blame your misunderstanding

On my miscommunication?

How dare you say that I better get over being “uncomfortable” with physical things,

Because any “real” relationship is going to have it,

And I’m going to “need” to be in a relationship eventually,

“Even if it’s with a girl.”

Your disbelief in my asexuality,

Brings me to a place of insecurity I haven’t known in years.

Not since I was brutally bullied as a child,

Or left abandoned by my friends as I grew older.

Now I’m scared.

I’m really really scared of opening up to anyone that much again.

You not only didn’t believe me,

You told me that a relationship without the physical things,

Isn’t a relationship at ALL.

Now I’m left with uncertainty.

Now I’m left feeling like I may never be loved.

Before I told you, I thought that one day,

I’d find a guy that wants a romantic relationship.

And just a romantic relationship.

That could deal with me for me.

Apparently you’re not that guy.

And ending our relationship was one of the best decisions of my life.

Because how dare you tell me that I’m messed up,

How dare you decide what kind of relationship I can have,

And how dare decide I need one at all?

I don’t need you.

I don’t need you or our relationship.

And I’m glad I left.