How He left me

It wasn’t until long after He left that I saw how it really was

He walked out the door for one final time cause He was done

I waited for another knock and Him to be on the other side of the door

While I internally screamed for Him to come back and cried

But this wasn’t when my love for Him died

My dad held me after He was gone, much to my surprise

looked me deep into my eyes

Daddy said, “you’re better off without Him”

Yet it felt more painful than if someone had cut off my limb

Any other love than His, did I not deserve?

Cause He seemed to be the only one that loved all of me, even my curves

or so I thought before he decided I wasn't good enough

and saw that I wasn't so tough

He saw that yes, I cry too when told

I wasn't worthy of His bold love

I loved Him so I did not hold Him back from living His life

While He held me back giving me the reason that He “loved me too”

Later I realized most of the stuff muttered from Him was a lie

I think back to Him standing there looking all sly

I almost believed Him when He said I was lucky to have Him

Those words made my brain all mucky for a while

Later I realized that spending stacks on smoke filled pacts

Would be better for me than lending an hour of my time to Him

I now know that it’s not healthy

to have to be that stealthy when mentioning who I talk with to Him

He was my dream, or so it seemed

But He quickly became a nightmare

It’s only in hindsight that I see all of this

The feelings of love and the kiss

I received clouded my mind of right and wrong

with effects on my brain that were long lasting

After it all I realized that trust is a two way street

and that sometimes I need to take a day to meet with my friends

Now I think I am above all the well played games on me

Looking back, I think I learned a lot about love when I fell out of it.