How I am

I have a lot of self hatred
I’m not very confident

I smile to make others happy

Because this I know I can

I am a pleaser

Always have been

I always cry in silence

So no one can hear me plea

Stop it’s killing me

I am being haunted

By my past suffering

Don’t tell me to smile

For isn’t that the problem

I’m always hiding my pain

So I cut off my heart

From everyone else

I put on a mask

And suffer in silence

So I wouldn’t be a burden

I’m trapped in this darkness

A cage for all eternity

But somehow there’s a light

It’s so far away and yet it’s in sight

Now the cage is fading

As the darkness is dissipating

My heart is melting

As my mask slowly breaks

I can see that I can finally be free

But i’m too afraid to take the leap

There’s a guiding a hand

That i do not take

Because how do I know it’s not fake

I can’t help but to be weary

Compliments i do not handle well

But i’ll never tell

For this is how I am