How to love

How to love

Sounds like a self-help book for starters

You see I am a junkie compelled by my heart to cast my line into this vast ocean called love.

I waited anxiously for pull a tug,

 but nothing came.

Seconds to minutes, minutes to hours. I began to grow cold

Which later turned to bitterness and shame.

 No one ever taught me how to love.

What was the right way,

what was I doing wrong?

Please, someone, give me more of an answer than just

you are too young.

I swallow my pride and turn to hope

waiting on a chance maybe just maybe I can float.

Float through the sea and maybe be pulled down and be enveloped by this feeling of love

I thought I knew what love meant.

 I believed I knew until my dying breath

It was a chance, a moment, a beautiful work of art that turned me into a gushing fool

But I let it fall apart.

I was looking for an answer that was already there

I struggled constantly over thinking a simple interaction was something

But that wasn’t fair

Thinking love can be so simple it can be found in the palm of my hand

 I am a hopeless romantic whatever that means

No, look you see

It used to mean

That one person would obviously

give their heart and soul to a person whenever they need it to be

It means that when they get rejected they would somewhat understand that it could never be a

we

Now the term hopeless romantic means three different things

clingy, pushy, and don’t want to be

I say this because that is what I have become I clung to the old and pushed away the new and I struggle every morning thinking

who?

Who could I love that would love me

See I was in a commitment once that made me blind to reality.

I focused all my time and effort into building a castle for a princess that was off with another prince because they didn’t understand my morality.

I told a truth when I should’ve spilled a lie

And looking back I can never fully understand why

Why would I

Was this the love I hoped for all my life?

Did I let it slip through my fingers and float to the sky?

I keep wondering so much it ended up poisoning my mind

Every one of my companions taking the time to explain my mistake to me

 saying it’s about time I started thinking clearly

I wasn’t really given a chance to grieve

The love I had for her was quickly buried and forgotten by everyone else except me

And I do from time to time think is this how love is supposed to be

Did I make a mistake, or will it take time for these memories erase?

I really don’t know and it’s making my heartbreak

Like little cracks that grow deeper and deeper as the blood rushes through my veins.

It’s not normal or maybe it is I just want a real answer

Anything is better than this

When someone says love is a complex question

I want to scream no

It’s not we are the ones who complicate it

We play games and manipulate each other with the feelings that are supposed to bring us happiness and peace to one another

Sex is used as a weapon instead of intimacy

Everyone keeps asking are they just talking or are they a thing

That what makes everything so damn confusing

The war wages on whose wrong and whose right

People getting played and getting lost in the fight

A healthy relationship stems from three simple rules

One Love yourself before you can love another

Two Love is powerful don’t get drunk off it

Three Love is a privilege not a right

My favorite part of the relationship is when I get to hold their hand

A simple thing to understand

For one reason

I wear my heart on my sleeve

I am willing to share it with a person who can see me.

Love is moment thing

don’t let it slip out into the sea

This how I love

 this is me

 

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