How Screwed Up?

How screwed up do I have to be To have feelings for you and not care about me? You'll toss me around, no thoughts or feelings And I let you hurt me again like regular dealings. I just gave up such a long time ago Stopped caring about the punches you'd throw Never denying that it was well time to go But afraid it'd hurt you, kill you, you know? No matter the way you detested my love No matter the way you pushed and shoved For me to leave and return when you blushed And say "My bad babe, you know you're loved!" But I'm not loved you ass, just screwed up By the words you say that strangled and cut Deeper than any punch or hard shove You really did a number on me, congrats, I'm fucked! But you know I'm done, I'm really through Cause someone's found me, he's better than you He doesn't sit on my shoulder and say way to do He loves me with his arms, his lips, and words too. God for so long I've felt bad about my thoughts Thinking its harsh to hate you so damn much To hate how your words stung, your every touch To hate how I needed you like a sick, perverted crutch. But I'm not alone anymore, now I see My family and friends were always there for me Trying to help me, trying to set me free From your ever strong hold, so captivating. Well I'm gone now and all you have left Is the memory of your abuse and theft You stole my heart, my freedom, every last breath I'm done being screwed up by a love of you, a love of death.