The Human Condition Presented by the Self Aware

Lonely existence in social persistence

Forgive me for the brief moment when I made an error of social conduct

For I have forgotten, I am betrothed to lovers I do not know the names of

And tethered to tacit laws I cannot fathom 

I pray that you take me down again to the church basement 

to the rusting sink with brown boils and a broken mirror 

I beg you to turn the nob while together we watch the insects and rodents flow from the faucet while we pretend they are crystal water 

Please scrub my hands of my sins until I can be half of a whole again

Whilst the we choke on the thick smug that fills the air t

I promise not to gag or gasp again 

for I love to despise every inch of the worthless shell my soul was shoved into 

Because, if I dare to open my eyes and look at my reflection which shows so little of me

I will get lost in the icky the blackness and I will become stricken with blindness 

I promise to suck in every deteriorating organ and bone even when I cannot breathe 

In desperate attempts I will pluck each hair from my scalp till blood oozes to make you happy 

For I only crave to be loved by those who plan to throw my limp body to the flames 

Only will I realize I am in too deep as my soul rizes 

and watches my lovers turn to wolves and feast of every ounce of my rotting flesh 

till they’re bellies are full and they are drunken with bliss

Even so minutes later I watch them pounce on a unexpecting house cat, 

because nothing could ever satisfy the insatiability I hold myself to

I force my eyes shut and forget the nightmare 

that exist when the sunrises instead of when it sets 

I repeat this action until I am limp and obvious 

Although, the slow rising and falling of my chest reminds me 

that such as glutinous men feasting, then puking, feasting, then puking….

It is infinite