Humming blue

How can I confide in you when you rely on me?

How desperately I wish I could get help I know I need

You wonder why I hurt myself

Irrationally I shake 

I said I claim control but truth I tremble and I quake 

When I sit upon my bed

Fetal position upside down 

I wish my biggest fear wasn’t metal but a clown 

When I’m holding razor blades and sinful sharpness at my wrist

I think of you 

And hum my blue 

And think of you again 

When I’m lucky, yes it passes 

But assured it will return 

Assured I’ll be alone again with taunting sticky burns 

I know you could’ve helped me 

But I can tell you’d never tell me

So how can I confide in anyone else but you 

If you’re the only one I think of when I’m humming blue.