A hundred faces

As I'm walking through these crowded halls, I see a hundred faces. A hundred faces, a hundred people. They all watch as i pass by, wondering if what they heard is true, and when they do, their pity will shower me with fake smiles, fake apologies so that they look good and can sleep at night. Meanwhile I am just trying to get through yet another day of my lonely exhistance, a hundred faces, a hundred lies, a hundred faces, and yet I feel more alone then ever, standing there watching their lives unfold, while my time stays the same, as I stand there frozen in my own brain. My mind is like a maze with no end, you enter and you are submerged into a web of lies, past memories so horrific they will haunt your nightmares and destroy your dreams, poor decisions made, and regretted, more then one ever needs to experience and yet, that is my reality.  My mind is a cold hell, it is bleak and cruel, and it is all because of me. I am the center of my issues, the problems I have, are because of my insecurities, so they say. However, if that were true, I would be long gone. The problems I have result from my family, my upbringing, my place in this world, or lack there of. A hundred faces, but not one with a smile. A smile is easy to fake, it is hard for it to be true. Who you think you are. Who you are meant to be. Who people view you as. Are all very different categories but they all have something in common, and that is you. People say you can be whatever you want to be, but that's not true. You can't change your personality because you want to, you can't change what your good at, you can't force yourself to do something because someone said you should, you can't be your own person, but you can change the conversation, you can change in what light people see you, you can change what you think of yourself, and you can change your perspective on life. You must control what you can, and roll with what you can't.