The Hurt

The Hurt, the sadness, the rage, and loneliness. The anger, the headaches the tears and heartbreaks. Frustration, confusion my life feels like an illusion. Like “this can’t be really happening it has to be a dream,” “maybe if I go to sleep when I wake up I won’t see the same things.” But now I’m in a nightmare, I’m scared, I’m frightened. The horror, the vision, is taking me back to that night when. I lost sight of God I couldn’t see him nor hear him, I thought I was close but my faith showed me I was nowhere near him. The selfishness, the greed, the doubt, and unbelief. Has haunted me every night as I lay and try to sleep. The fear of going to hell has never really crossed my mind until that day doctor told me my life was almost over and I was running out of time. So I prayed, I believed, I had faith, I went to church. But I soon realized I’m only doing this because I’m hurt. It’s fake, it’s unreal, a fairy tale, and its fiction. I’m burning inside because every day I feel the conviction. Now I’m lost with no compass, and no direction. And all I had to do with stay close to the one that save me back when. I was feeling the hurt, the sadness, the rage and loneliness. Yes Jesus, the King of kings, Alpha and Omega, The Almighty, yes pure holiness. Hopefully God will give me another chance because I don’t want me life to end like this……