Hurt

As I sit up on the edge of the bed thinking about the times we had. As I smile and laugh my pain away it's like a tear drop falling down my face. I can smile about all the good times we had but the fact there won't be anymore so I just have these memories in my mind that will haunt me in my future about my past. See I can smile and laugh with you and tell you everything is alright but deep down inside its like my heart is ripping out slowly & mymind forgetting who I am & where I want to be because my heart is telling me to run and tell you how much I love you but my mind is telling to let go and let it be there plenty fish in the sea. So my heart is fighting my mind and my mind fighting my body because my eyelids won't closed because the fear of unleashing the tears left when you left and I can't stop smiling so I can put a front to show everyone I'm fine when I and only I know I'm not fine