hyper-sexuality

Everyone warns you about the strange men you dont know

The ones you meet in the dead of night 

In back alleys, following you to your car and spiking your drinks

Everyone forgets to tell you about the boys you meet during the day

The ones you invite to parties

They’ll bring you out on dates

The ones who call you gorgeous and make you feel special 

Did you forget

That rotting apples still smell sweet

But he wasn’t bad all the time just some

And I can change him!

Did you forget

You’ve been here before

Kind in one breath then forcing you on your knees in the next

Did it look like I wanted it

When you took me to the basement

Did you forget

Where my fingers made indents into your thighs

Did you feel me pushing you away 

While my mind was racing with when is this going to be over

Yours was racing with how can she get me off

Did you forget 

We had been here before in the skating rink that you didn't use for skating

Excuse after excuse for the behavior of an animal

All I wanted was to be love

Because after you I couldn’t love myself 

Couldn’t tell the difference between the heart and someones lust

And if my body is all I have to offer I would gladly now offer it 

To keep the affection of a boy who doesn’t deserve the glint in my eye

As a sacrifice

Why do we have to sacrifice

And if my lips taste all the same to you as sweet honey I’d gladly give them

To keep your eyes looking at me

Only me

Because I was tought at a very young age 

If he cant touch me he will surely leave me

If he can’t have me he will surely cheat

Because at 14 I am worth nothing more than a body

I am worth nothing more than how many men will give their eyes to a little girl

They only have one goal and if I can hold off for long enough maybe I can keep the illusion of love just a little longer

I will offer you everything but please do not take my innocence it has already been stolen

Satan left my life sprinkling demons in his wake 

And I became the shell of a girl willing to do anything for just a taste of the tree of life

All I wanted was love

All he wanted was sex

Your life was made to create trauma 

And mine was made to smile and say yes