I Almost Lost you

I almost lost you this week…

not in the metaphorical sense as in I lost your love

or I lost your friendship

but in the physical sense,

I almost lost you from my life forever,

I almost lost you to this thing called death and that terrified me…

it made me think of all the things you would miss;

proms,

birthdays,

college acceptance letters,

my graduation from high school,

my graduation from college,

my wedding,

and meeting your great grandchildren.

Then this made me think of everything I would miss about you;

your perfume,

you constantly correcting my grammar,

the soup you smell of,

your never ending wisdom that I would never finish learning.

I also would like to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all the times I took you for granted,

when you were always worried whether I was eating enough,

or when walking across the street as a child, no taller than your hip, you always placed yourself in front of the on coming traffic.

I used to believe you could protect me from everything,

the bullies in the school hallways,

the snide comments from my other family members that I never showed hurt.

But unknown to me, you wouldn't be able to protect me from the pain and heartache life would throw at me,

my first heartbreak,

losing friends,

the times where it felt as though the entire world was doing everything in it's power to keep me on the ground,

you were always there,

with your melodious laugh and bright smile,

you always knew how to cheer me up,

whether it be me venting my frustrations to you and ending it crying on you shoulder,

or getting coffee and getting lost in Barnes N’ Nobles shelves for hours, which probably happened a lot more than it should have.

That is one thing you have instilled in me,

my love for a truly good book, and how they can take me on adventures I can only dream of going on.

You taught me all the valuable life lessons I would have had to learn on my own otherwise.

you taught me that every experience is better when you have a best friend to share it with.

you taught me to love, not just deeply, but widely,

to embrace myself and my weird quirks,

but most importantly you taught me how to age with grace,

with the power and confidence to take on the world,

you’ve taught me to keep my name like it's my best kept secret,

you’ve shown me that it is important to never stop learning,

you’ve taught me how to love myself in all of my weird,

blonde,

bubbly,

Harry Potter reading,

pun loving,

awkwardness,

and I will never be able to thank you enough for that.