I Am

I was sitting in a small room

I was more nervous than I’ve ever been

I heard voices in the room

I heard them talking about me

I saw tears roll down my mom’s face

I saw my body turn white as a ghost

I saw myself shaking

I learned that I shouldn’t be worried

I learned that it would all be over soon

I lost myself in my own thoughts

I lost the courage I once had

I’ve driven myself to where I’ve never gone before

I’ve driven myself to a speck of hope

I once or twice asked a question

I once or twice shed a tear

I’m still waiting to go under

I’m still waiting for it to be over

I have a spurt of confidence

I have to be brave

I want to be strong

I long for the pain to go away

I long for it to only be a dream