I AM

Victoria Stewart

I am young

Not even 17

I have no place being here

This is no place for a child

I haven’t even begun living out my wild teenage dreams

But this is my reality

Every week I walk through these doors

Into a crucial world I don’t enjoy

The harsh winter wind hits my skin

As I sit and wait

Wait for the noise

I listen for the click and pull open the door

Bang!

I’m in

It seems colder than the winter air outside

I look around at the bitter scene

I watch two security guards through the bulletproof glass

Their eyes cold

They watch me intently as they move their hands closer to their guns

But I am no criminal

I have committed no crime

I am not the one behind bars

Monitor 2 1:30.

I am strong

I am patient

I wait and watch people leave with tears running down their face

I see people cry

I see people pray for the safety of their loved ones

I watch children sob as they tightly grip the phone

I watch a sister weep for her older brothers protection and comfort

I watch a wife say goodbye to a blank screen that was once a loved one

Time's Up.

I am next

I pull up the chair
My eyes glued to the monitor

I can’t miss this

I can WILL not miss this

I pick up the phone and stare into the screen

Hello?

I am relieved

I have waited all week for this

I have waited so long to see this face

The conversation may seem meaningless but it means so much

I forget all tribulations and I am in utter bliss

00:13….00:5….0:00

It’s done

It’s over again like always

I am even more lost than I was before

I watch the wrinkled 20 dollar bill slide into the machine

This all I have to give

That is all I have left

The remorseful looks I get from the staff

The understanding looks I get from the people going to the same situation

I walk out knowing I will be back

Knowing I will cry the same tears

Knowing I will give all that I can give

All that I have left

What am I?

I am a loved one suffering

I am a statistic

I am a voice

I am a change

4.2 percent

That is the United States representation in the world

25 percent

That is the United States representation in the world’s prison population

We currently have the largest prison population in the world

We charge inmates approximately 60 dollars per day to be incarcerated

And have incarcerated roughly 2.2 million people

60 x 2.2 million

You do the math.