I Am

I Am

I am destruction & my name is that of the wreckage

I am death, & violence; I am as catastrophic as a massacre

Leaving nothing but rubble & dust in my wake.

So I try to pretend… pretend that this was all a tragic game

that I, the fallen, & the shattered the broken & the scarred were insignificant.

But I can never seem to convince myself of the like.

I devastate everything I see, & I kill everything I touch.

& Yet; I am the one who weeps for those in my battles lost.

I am Bitterness, hatred, & distrust, I am the one who causes love to turn to rust

I know what I am & I carry the weight of it as I am forced feel their fear.

I hurt the ones I love & bring agony to those who dare come near.

I do not know how to end this fight, for war & strife will always be.

& I don’t know why I had to be the one who tears apart both home & heart.

I am the habitation of fallen angels; where lives seem worth less than pennies.

I am the fields of the enemy, in which blood stains hands & hearts of soldiers endlessly

I am the one who tries to turn away it all but I am the one who is forced to stay.

So I must carry on my work, n’er giving second thought, But I know that this is all for nought

But despite my lack of heart I can feel it all, the pain, misery, & agony.

They blame me for the the battles, for the ones found & lost.

& I know that I am to blame for the chaos & war that I ensue

For the heartaches & the places where the warrior’s mind is disarray.

The lives that I have cost & the loved ones I have lost.

I don’t want this fate, I never did. But it is man that pushes me on

For I am what I am; & I am man’s Ego. The enemy to his soul & a shield to his emptiness.

yet after all I do they cannot seem to let me go.

Please someone just let me go.

-Stephanie Roderick