I am

I am a man who drinks other people's poison
I live without hope, forgiveness nor reason
I am my own mistake, my own grief
I am my own disappointment but never my relief
I know my sins like the back of my hands
I live a life that even I don't understand
I wake up scared everyday thinking I'll hurt someone again
For I am not the same person like you knew back then
Before I go to sleep I count my sins instead of sheep
And as I close my eyes dreams are nowhere to be found
Have you ever felt so alone that even your dreams weren't around?
So up to this day this cycle just keeps on repeating
I've gotten so used to it that I'm just simply alive and not living