I am

I'm from my mother’s heart, made of love and laughter

With intricate features she dreamed of, bronze skin, brown eyes, dark curls

“Igualita a tu padre..” she says

~

I come from a dream, one filled with hope, fear, and exhaustion. All repeated 2 times.

My mother’s aching feet dragging on the dry ground, carrying me in her heart into a world more broken than the one she left behind.

~

I come from a broken heart that was healed

“No mas queria ver si todavía te amaba.” My biological father wanting to feel the lust of another woman besides the one that he claimed he will forever love.

She then took her whole heart, including mine and left his on his own.

But it was for the best, she found someone who loved her more the whole world and who loved me even more.

~

I come from my dad made of strength and pride

Grateful of him because of him I was never missed the love of a father

Helping me fall in love with the colors of my flag, the one I truly belong too

Green representing hope

White representing purity

Red representing the blood of my ancestors, those who died for independence

~

I come from a little rose bud

Innocent full of happiness, full of laughter

Wanting to be everything in the world

As the little rose began to grow it felt as though it wasn't suppose to

Feeling it was supposed to be a certain color and certain length

Comparing itself to other flowers in the garden

The the now bloomed rose began the wither and die

Losing its deep red color turning grey

~

I come from a place full of sorrow

A place full of “You’re not beautiful”, “Why are you so different”

“Why do you act this way” “Why are you even here...just let go”

A place where a fragile heart was broken and tried to fix itself but ended up breaking even more

Comparing and contrasting and always ended up hurting

I’m from a place of giving up, and giving up, and giving up

A never endless pit of confusion

Looking for ways to forget pain, wanting arousal, poison, excitement

~

I’m from a dark world turning around and seeing colors for the first time

I’m from a place where I learned to love myself for who I am

Learning to be confident, loving the small details God had created to make me who I am.