I AM

I am…

Patiently waiting

for fear to devour

The inside of a place

withholding all of my power

I am caught up in a tower

Where light escapes

And death relates

A place I once called home

And buried all my dead flowers

Alone in a season

Not easy for me to speak and

I’m tired of the confusing mind games

And disbelieving

Hearts shattered

Brains splattered

Please pinch me if i’m dreamin

Just to face reality

the only thing

That keeps me sinking

I could’ve turned to drinking

I could’ve turned to coke

I could’ve sold dope

to stop my momma

From being broke

But Instead

I just  kept praying

For things to get better

Just to feel an emptiness

And Now I’m writing this death letter

To you….

Now hear me out

I’m speaking loud

Misused and abused

When I was just a flower child

Too Focused on growing

And making everybody proud

No rose petals

But those thorns

Made me real proud

I'm out

I mean

I'm out of time

It's true that you

Need to pay attention to the signs

Face to face with my fears

And I can't read between the lines

You see it's year after year

that I get tired trying

Trying to make things right

Trying to shine so bright

Trying to fill up a hole

With every inch of of might

You see these demons never leave and

They're closing in on my sight

Now the only thing I hear is...

Brianna take your own life...