I am...

Fri, 01/31/2014 - 19:29 -- Daxion

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I am a writer.
I am a prophet of creativity.
I am the interpreter to my own personal muse.
I am a dreamer of dreams made manifest to letters that spiral in my mind and make neat and orderly lines on the paper.
I am the creator of worlds through words that are first a character then two then ten then a time then a place then a twist then a quirk then a full universal macrocosm of brilliance.
I am a writer.

I was in grief.
I was a magnet for sorrow.
I was the witnesser of nightmares.
I was the collector of sad truths that I stored away for later tears in a small glass bottle by my bedside to return when I needed them least.
I was the sufferer and the martyr to my own ideas and the Icarus that flew too close and the Prometheus who should not have tried at all and my own worst enemy and my single greatest tormentor and my final roadblock to my life.
I was in grief.

I have lost my way.
I have withered away my muse.
I have used up all my can and will and shall.
I can no longer pull words from my mind or soul or wherever they come from as building blocks to add to previous structures and make them bigger and better and more.
I have a writer's block and an identity crisis and a stress level the size of New Hampshire and work that needs doing and work I so very wish to do but cannot because I simply cannot find the inspiration to do so.
I have lost my way.

I will be okay.
I will persevere.
I will move on to bigger and better things.
I will try again no matter how long it takes or how slow a trudge it is through the swamp of work.
I will be and already am happily engulfed by a community of friends who will support me and lift me up when I'm down and provide help when I need it and be a distraction when I just want to think about something happy for a change.
I will be okay.

I am a writer, a writer who has grieved, who has lost his way, who will be okay in the end.
I am who I am.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I am a writer.

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