I Am

I am madness, 
and sunshine while it rains
but I am no rainbow
there's no light at the end of this tunnel
only darkness
lit by florescent counterfeits. 
I am a wind storm
messy, never dangerous
but always unpredictable. 
I have spent my days
worried with things I cannot control
and I so badly want
something I can hold close to.
But I am solid as a rock
and when I approach you
it will cause some damage. 
I have known for a long time
that loving me is hard
because I've tried 
and even I get tired. 
I am clay, 
easily molded 
but when left dry and untouched
I turn to stone. 
It may take some time, 
but even a diamond 
needs pressure 
to be beautiful.