I Am Alone (The Truth behind the Lie)

What dark deep depression. The walls around me are closing in. I cannot breath. I am alone. I cannot see the sun. I cannot see the moon. All I see is black. What dark, dark deep depression.

There is no one who truly understands no one to truly comprehend my deep dark depression. How much I truly need him. But that’s my little secret, my dark depressing secret. He has another, and I have no other. I am alone.

A dream? Hopefully. A nightmare? Most likely. Insanity? Maybe. Reality? It should not be.

But none of this matters at the moment, for I am alone. Alone in this dark depressing world we call home. I see no home. I see depression, I see insanity, I see nothing. I see nothing. I am alone.

I try to run to find someone, someone who truly understands my depression. But I find no one. No one sees the actual pain behind my joy. No one knows that behind every smile there is a cry, behind every laugh there is a scream for help. My mask is falling quickly. My pain is getting harder and harder to hide.

But it is fine, for I am alone, alone in this bat cave of a world. This deep dark depressing world.

As I remember him and the time we spent together, the walls around me close in. My air supply is scarcely low as I think about his arms around anyone other than me. Is this it? Is this how it will end? It cannot. I must find hope. But I cannot.

There is no hope in this dark cynical world. A new beginning? It should be. An end? Most likely

I scream louder and louder.

Why can’t anyone hear me? Why won’t anyone help me? I know why. I am alone.

I cannot breath. The walls are squeezing me. I try to remember the good in my life, but there is none. Except for when I met him. But that was then. The joy everyone sees in me is a lie. There is no good now.

All I know now is the deep dark depression. What could have been, but was not. What was once everything is now nothing. But none of this matters, for I am alone. Alone in this depressing world

I gasp. I try take in as much air as possible, but I cannot. My lungs cannot take it. I gasp once more. But the walls do not finish me, instead, they stay still. They stop, and I suffer. There is still no light. It is still dark, dark and depressing.

I am forever stuck in this dark depressing world we call home. But I still see no home I still see depression and insanity. I still see nothing. I see nothing. Nothing in this deep dark depression.

I see him with her. His arms are around her, and not me. It kills me to see him with her but he seems happy. He is not with me anymore so I have no purpose. There is nothing left for me. Nothing for me to see, hear, or do. Nothing.

All this because I left him. I love him and I had no right to leave him. Because of this I am alone. In hurting him, I hurt myself. Because of this I am depressed. Because of this I see nothing but the darkness. Because of this, behind every laughter, every smile, there is pain. Not because of him, but because of me. Because I let him go, I am alone.