I am a bad feminist

“GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN”

I stand there with my cookies and my signup sheet

Surrounded with signs I spent all night making

‘gender equality matters’

It seems to whimper

I feel my neck turning a blotchy red on my pale skin

Like blood on flour

I feel tears flowing up uncontrollably like a gag reflex

I am too much of a girl screw my femininity I don’t want to celebrate it

I want to be a guy, I don’t want to battle this, and I don’t want to have to fight this

I’m not a good feminist, I want to have a penis

I don’t want to embrace my womanhood I just want to be equal goddamnitt

I don’t want to hear him say I was so ugly he wouldn’t even let me blow him

And still apply 3 different foundations and two types of mascara everyday

I don’t want another to say everything about my face is beautiful except my nose

And now I research nose job procedures once a week

I don’t want him to force his penis so far into my throat that I can’t breath

Just so I will still look up blowjob tips on YouTube for the next guy

I won’t hear that I was asking for it when I woke up and he was inside me

And I wasn’t even strong enough to report him

And what if I had another system of oppression on top of being a woman

I am middle class, well educated, and white

I have been given everything

I’m not strong enough for that

 I can’t even handle a vagina

But I know that I am surrounded by resiliency

I don’t know a single girl who hasn’t been a victim of sexism

And I know every single one of them deserve more than what’s given to them

So they demand it

They give that glass ceiling an uppercut and with a handful of glittering glass

Cutting through their skin

They know they are worth it

And so am I.