I am bad at goodbyes

She is not your maid. She is my foundation.
Her skeletal structure designed to endure the imapct of
child birth, child rearing, and a child's promotion.
She is from an island. A wayfinder. Oceanic warrior. Following stars and new beginnings.
She is strong. 10 pounds, I was. She had to be. 
Hands that fed me now shake as the flooring begins to crack.
Salty black hair and wavelengths in skin. I don't want to tell her
I am afraid.
Terrified of how weak her knees have become and how heavy the meds weigh.
But he lifts her up so she can watch me cross that line.
Gown. Tassel. Paper.
He doesn't cry. He never does but he does today.
He was a wayfinder too. Long ago he lost his way
His ceremony was different. It was a 1 A.M. rush that
arrived with an extra push
Diapers. Bib. The best accident life can give.
He found it in 
His arms
His shoulders
carry my head. They were small once
before carrying wooden pallets, other people's issues, other people's kids and the
burden of bills.
He had no father, but he responded in ways his never did.
He is the real hero of this story. That's when
I make it to the end.
I am going to make you proud.
Promises are hollow, silent, and nonesistent like the vibration of
her texts.
She was beautiful. I remember
She liked hard-to-pronounce coffee drinks and had bad taste in music.
She taught me that I had bad taste in music.
She can sing on stage but she was too shy to sing for me.
She can play the keys. B flat
tire on the way to her dad's house. C minor
dates. It wasn't that serious. G sharp
pain in my chest. Oh, no. I had fallen.
She is funny and different and challenging and made me dream and hope and wish
I held on tighter.
Distance and time. Excuses become reasons.
Forgetting. Forgiving. Could not forgive and forget.
Competitions of who can act like they care less.
Why doesn't this feel like winning.
I messed up. 
I am sorry.
I apologize to the little ones and say farewell.
They are not children any more, not like the day we met.
They call me teacher, but today they call me friend.
They don't understand and I wish they did.
I have done my time. I have worked hard. I deserve this.
This isn't selfish motive, but why does it feel like it is?
I am never going to forget you.
Lend me your ears, young men and women.
Remember my words in my departure
Give
be loose with your pockets, time, and words of affection, 
when you leave, you do not bring them with you.
Love
because it is worth the vulnerability, what-if scenarios, tears, sleepless nights and
bad experiences are a myth
Regret
is not for you. Forgive yourself, as it is the initial step for new beginnings.
Believe. Pray. Have Faith.
purpose fills your lungs and your exhale can
change the world
Honor those who have raised you
we don't choose flesh and blood but fate does not make mistakes.
Remember me.
Son of the sunkissed shores. A student and a teacher. A leader and friend.
Intelligent. Inspired. Innovative. Impulsive. Insecure. In the process of
Improvement.
I am my words. I am these moments. I am the individuals who stand behind me. I am leaving and 
I am trying to hold back tears that are trapped in my breath.
I am thankful and I am blessed and I am going to miss you.
Remember me, because I will remember you. I am because of you.
I am because of you.