I am confused

You say they’re confused

They don't know what they want

They don't understand

And in order to put the world in order

They cannot be confused

They cannot be both

They cannot see both

They cannot feel both

Because both is bad

But if both is bad

Then I must confess that I am confused

I am confused like many others

Like the ones who are told they cannot be both

Like the ones who are told they cannot see both

Like the ones who are told they cannot feel both

Not is it their hearts that cannot understand

But their minds

Minds that withstand the pain of being told no

Being told of their nonexistent presence

And of their inequity to the real

I am confused

Why not?

Why do you care?

What does it matter?

I do not wish to harm

I do not wish to inflict this pain onto anyone else

So why does it matter?

You cannot see past the wall you have built around yourself

And it is clear that I am yet behind that wall

A wall to shield you of what you call a broken world

Of the horrors you cannot understand

Of the pain you get to inflict but never feel for yourself

I am on the outside of your wall

You cannot see me for what I am

You speak of me as though I do not exist

As though I am the reason for the shattering

But I am outside this wall

And it is beautiful

You do not know but you are not shielding yourself of pain

You shield yourself from divinity

A beauty they may never be comprehended by the minds of the so called truth

But I am confused

In this, I am able to see grace

A power which you do not yield

Not because you cannot

But because you made it so

You see the truth

and you have yet to begin to fully comprehend

Both is beautiful

I am both

I see both

I feel both

And therefore I am confused

Not in me

Not of me

But of you

Of the questions you hold so dear to your bosom

The questions you have for me

And my answer to be bestowed upon you

You will never accept

For you cannot see past your wall

The wall that holds you prisoner

A wall you built yourself

A wall I have tried to crumble

Yet cower in the presence of failure

I cannot help

But it is you who must see

For if you do not I will be stuck

On one side of the wall I stand

With you holding your defenses on the other

I will then always be confused

And you will see the truth

But our sides will never meet

And I am learned

This is not my duty

I am to bask in the beauty

The beauty you cannot see

For when a moment comes that I do not

I will have a wall of my own

To shield me from the pain you see

No

The pain you made

The pain I face because you wouldn't let me be

You wouldn't let me see

You wouldn't let me feel

And because of that

I am confused.