I am deaf guy who wants someone to understand me

 Although I read a book about the theistic evolution but I am not fully convinced about the evolution because all fish, birds, animals and humans appear complete and without evolutionary transitions in the fossil record 

The theory of big bang without Gods is impossible because of the laws of friction which it means everything everywhere can not keep moving forever. Therefore in the beginning everything everywhere was motionless. The laws of friction is real and the theory of big bang by itself is a figurative language 

In the beginning, Gods were motionless too but were intelligent enough to know how to move for the first time. For example, if there were only few different kinds of shapes inside one color therefore this one color was not intelligent enough to know how to move for the first time but if there were like quadrillions or more of different kinds of shapes inside one color therefore this one color was intelligent enough to know how to move for the first time. To be clear, no or not enough of shapes means unwise 

The logic answer is that in the beginning which only the ones who were motionless but already have plenty of different kinds of shapes which were enabled to be wise to know how to move for the first time then created the universe.
I think there were more than one God in the beginning which I do not know how many Gods there were. That is why I like to say many Gods created the universe together.

God is only one color. For example the color of brown can not be changed to other colors or enter other colors to be a different color. Nobody including Gods can create a color of brown. Therefore the color of brown is eternal. Before the universe was created the color of brown was there, today and forever. All other colors are eternal too. If you think a color can be changed to other color but that is only illusion. All colors never change.

Nobody can be all colors but only one color because no one can enter other color to be a different color. Everyone is stuck with their own one color forever. I can see many colors but it does not mean I am many colors because I can see many colors from the border line of one color without being them. I remain to be one color forever without being many colors. To be clear, from all eternity past I was one color and today I am one color and will be one color forever.

One color is real. God is only one color and I am one color too. I can not see inside myself to know what color I am because the one color is invisible. I am the invisible one color. For example, the air is invisible. The air has a color but I can not see the color of air. Likewise I am one color but I can not see the color of myself. God is invisible one color and I am too 

The colors of bones, flesh and blood can be tricky to my sight which they are not the real person. They are just like the house which I am inside and around it. I am the invisible one color somewhere inside the house of bones, flesh and blood. The bones, flesh and blood are just the foods or soil. I can not become the foods I ate because I am stuck with my own one color forever. 

To give you a better picture. If the bones happen to be black color instead of white color but I will not be the black color. And if the skin happen to be orange color instead of tan color but I will not be the orange color. And if the blood happen to be purple color instead of red color but I will not be the purple color. Because I am stuck with my own one color which I am never the colors of bones, skin, blood. I will be lying if I say I am the bones, skin and blood. That is why I have to say I am one color who is invisible somewhere inside the bones, skin and blood.

When the house that one color lives in get more older then the one color may leave the decaying house and be reincarnated into a baby (new house) inside or outside of womb of woman. The one color who is always in the same size which never increase or decrease in size and it can become very thin that can enter any baby. But Sometime the one color may not come inside a baby again which it prefers to be a wandering ghost without any reincarnation. It is always best not to enter any baby again because we may do not want to suffer again. For the earthly life is tough so let us leave the earth in peace as ghosts

One color or spirit or ghost means the same thing

Jesus who is one color may be reincarnated inside a baby in a womb of Mary. Most of us including the animals may be reincarnated too. Some of us may not always reincarnate into other babies which we may go to other place instead. 

I know that many people at the churches talked about the death but they do not talk about one color. I have not seen anyone talk about the one color except in the Gnostic gospel book. When I think of God then I always view him or her as one color forever. 

Let me say that again, in the beginning everything everywhere was motionless because of the laws of friction. The one color who was motionless but there were plenty of different kinds of shape inside that one color which enabled to be wise to know how to move for the first time. It is same story with the other colors. The only ones (colors) that had plenty of different kinds of shapes which were wise enough to know how to move were called Gods. 

Whether we know or not, we are Gods inside one color ourselves but we are not all powerful Gods because of pains or numb or inadequate pleasure. However, before the universe was created which we were all powerful Gods because there were no pains or numb or inadequate pleasure. We became powerless after the universe was created by us because we are not fully immune to the pains, numb and inadequate pleasure yet but we will be. We used to see inside ourselves but not anymore. For now we can only see things outside instead of inside ourselves which that is why we do not realize that we are Gods inside the one color ourselves. 

Although our sights are closed which we can not see inside ourselves but there are still Gods who are inside us to see everything for us. In other words, we are nobody or blind to ourselves but when Gods who are inside us get well again then will open our sights again which we will see inside ourselves again. I believe that will happen in the near future when all of pains, numb and inadequate pleasure turn back to perfect pleasure again. 

God can not be all colors but one. Nobody can be all colors. A sight of skin or bones or blood means nothing to me because I prefer to see inside myself instead of seeing things outside of myself. I can not see inside myself to know what color I am but at least I know that I am one color, not all colors. I believe I will see inside myself again later as I will be healed from pain, numb and inadequate pleasure in the future like after death or so.

I consider myself determinist. What I mean is that before the universe was created, Gods were all powerful but sometime later after they moved for the first time then they lost their powers during the process of creating the universe. They became powerless because the 100 percents of perfect pleasures were changed into the numb, pain and inadequate pleasure. But the pain, numb and inadequate pleasure can not last forever which they are only temporary. When Gods lost their powers therefore everything everywhere in the universe including Gods are determined. There are no freewill for Gods for a while. Everything in the universe is going to be motionless again. That is called determinism 

But I am sure that Gods already predicted that once they became sick but when they get well again then they will be 100 percent immune to the pain, numb, inadequate pleasure. Then they will recreate the universe again which there will be a happy ending without any pain, numb or inadequate pleasure anywhere. For example, a child who got sick with the chicken pox disease but when get well again then will be immune to that disease. Likewise Gods will be immune to all pains, numb and inadequate pleasure forever

Did you know that the bible is a religion of determinism ? For example, there were so many predictions in the bible and they were fulfilled accuracy. If there is no determination therefore there will be no prediction. It has to be determined before any prediction can be made. As long as Gods do not have the freewill therefore everything everywhere in the universe are determined. That is why there were so many predicts in the bible. 

I am sure that it is not only in the bible which there were some fortune tellers who were able to make any predicts and they happened exactly. Any true psychic people can predict the future. I remember the story of Saul in the bible which he met a fortune teller who is a lady and she told him that he and his sons will die in the battle the next day and it came true. 

The bottom line is that if there is no determination therefore there is no prediction We all are determined without freewill until we get healed from the pain, numb and inadequate pleasure. 

Since everything everywhere are determined without any freewill therefore all of us are innocent. In book of Isaiah 45:7 which it says Gods created good and evil. In other word, Gods lost their powers due to the natural cause of pain, numb and inadequate pleasure. It was not due to the bad behaviors of Gods but just the natural cause. Which they are not immune to the pains, numb and inadequate pleasure yet but will be in the end. 

The pain can not last forever and it is natural for the pain to give up and become pleasure again and will last forever. It is same with numb and inadequate pleasure. I am sure that Gods are confident in that.

I do not take the whole bible literally but I like to try to interpret what it means. According to the story of the bible which I think from the story of Genesis to Revelation is determined. I think Gods became determined sometime before the Adam and Eve was created. Which that is why there were imperfection with the Adam and Eve. 

When Gods became sick with pains, numb and inadequate pleasure therefore everything in the universe is out of control. It is all Gods's fault but it were due to natural causes not bad behaviors. What I mean is that the perfect pleasure turned into pain, numb, inadequate pleasure without any bad behavior. 

I think the story of Genesis may be in parable or figure of speech. For example, the serpent in the Genesis may be interpreted as a male human. In the new testament of bible, the men were called the serpents. There may be more humans than Adam and Eve on earth at that time. In the book of Genesis 3:15 which it says about the offspring of serpent. If the serpent will have a offspring therefore the serpent must be interpreted as a male human. Where did Cain get his wife ? And what more is that in the book of Genesis 4:14, Cain said he did not want anyone to find him which it shows that Cain knew that there were other humans than Adam and Eve. Therefore God may have created more humans than just Adam and Eve.

Many people at the churches may disagree and say it was about the spiritual offspring instead of physical offspring of serpent because they want to deny that there were other humans than Adam and Eve.

It does not make sense to me that many people at the churches taught that the Jews evolved to black or white people on the earth because I think if Adam and Eve were Jews therefore they will always be Jews. If the black or white people evolved from the Jews but why the Jews are still here. There should be no more of Jews but only black or white people ? Likewise if the humans evolved from the apes then why there are still apes? Likewise if the lizards evolved from the snakes but why there are still snakes ? Etc.... Therefore God may have created the Jews, Black,Asian and White people at the same time so there will be different races on earth. It is my guess of what the bible means

The pope and nuns are childless. Jesus taught his followers not to have children. In the book of Luke 23:29 which he said it is blessed to be childless. I encourage people not to have children due to the overpopulation with lot of sufferings. Jesus is very gifted man

There are few things about Jesus that religious people do not tell you. For example in the book of Matthew 9:13 which Jesus said do not believe in sacrifice but only love. But it is the religious people who want you to believe in sacrifice such as on the cross for the forgiveness of sins. The sacrifice is not necessary after all because you can just forgive (love) yourself according to Jesus's words. If you love yourself therefore you will also love other people too. 

Jesus may say that the fire means cleaning not suffering. In the book of Mark 9:49 which he said everyone will be salted with fire. Does that mean everyone will suffer in the fire ? Of course not. It is metaphor which it means everyone will be cleaned with salt and fire. That is what Jesus hoped for. It is religious people that will not admit that it is metaphor. 

Genesis 1:26 stated that Gods said let us make humans in our images. If Adam and Eve were in their images then why did the religious people think God is sexless or male alone ? That is nonsense. This verse clearly showed that God is male and the other God is female or in other words, God and Goddess. 

Although I mention some verses from the bible but I do not recommend you to read the bible on daily basis because I think the bible is the most misunderstood book in the world. Because if anything that was written too long time ago then it could be called a legend or lost in translation.

Stay healthy by being a vegan or pesco-vegan and childless. If you have to eat meat then try eat the seafood instead because most of land animals feel more pains than marine animals. If you eat more of cows therefore the farmer will breed more of cows. Do not allow any farmer to breed more of cows because all cows can feel pains.

If cows feel more pains than chicken then try to eat chicken instead and if chicken feel pains more than fish then eat fish instead. I am pesco-vegan.

If every newborn baby can feel pain then it is not a good idea to have a baby. Everyone can feel pain either in small or big so it is always best to stay in bed at all times. For example, if I run then I will feel more pain than just walking. And if I play football then I will feel more pain than just playing golf. All pains are wrong and not fun so try to avoid them if possible. I know I do not stay in the bed 24 hours a day but I need to learn to stay in bed more often. We should learn from the bears because they can hibernate up to 7 months without eating or drinking. It is oblivious that the bears feel lot less pains than us. Let us take a rest more often. 

You can check the picture of my drawings to get idea of what I am trying to say. I do not think there is male human as God alone inside one color. It is more likely that there are two persons inside one color who are female human as Goddess and male human as God. It is same thing with the animals, fish, insects and plants. I am not talking about earthy skin, bones and blood as house but one color (spirit). I believe that not only people who are spirits but animal, fish, insects and trees are spirits too.

We who are spirits that created the universe together because we wanted to share the earth. When we created the earth then we put the makeup colors of skin, bones and blood to cover us. They are just the makeup colors which are not real persons. Our spirits became invisible when we put the makeup colors on us. We lost our sight of inside ourselves because we became powerless after perfect pleasure turned into pains, numb and inadequate pleasure. That is why our spirits became invisible to our sight and only makeup colors are visible. The death may have happened shortly after we created the earth.

During the ancient time which we knew that the colors of skin, bones and blood are not real person which they are just like houses that we are inside them but we forgot who we are when we reincarnated. Our memories of past life are forgotten but we will remember again when all pains, numb and inadequate pleasure give up and turn back to perfect pleasure again. Then that is when Goddesses and Gods will be all powerful again and restore all of our memories of the past life which we will see inside ourselves again.

The reincarnation is not what Goddesses and Gods want and they can not do anything about it until they get well again. Because the pains, numb and inadequate pleasure affect the minds which that is why they do not know how to move on their own anymore. But they have to wait until everything turn back to perfect pleasure which will help the minds to know how to move on their own again. That will happen soon in the future because all pains and numb can not last forever and it is natural for them to give up soon. We all will be 100 percent immune to all pains, numb and inadequate pleasure forever when we get well again which there will be a happy ending for everyone including the animals, fish, insects and plants.

To be clear about the reincarnation. I can not be all colors ( colors of skin, bones and blood ) but one color. Since I can not be the colors of skin, bones and blood therefore I must be one color who became more thin than atoms and was reincarnated into a baby. However I hope that I will not be reincarnated again this time because I want to leave the earth in peace. If someone say I am all colors therefore that person is lying and refuse to admit that one color is real. Reincarnation is a mystery because one color is invisible but I only use my logical way to believe in the reincarnation. I must be the invisible one color somewhere from inside the head to arms, hands, legs and feet who is separated from the skin, bones and blood. You do not have to believe everything I say which you can remain agnostic. I think being childless, vegan or pesco-vegan and agnostic is still great. 

Any feedback is welcome Thank you