I Am The Hard Truth

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The hard truth is that I was conceived in hopes of saving a failing marriage 

The hard truth is I carry all my mother’s baggage 

The hard truth is I have lived my life in bondage 

The hard truth is the bondage was created by my mother’s lack of courage 

 

The hard truth is I was raised inside a bubble of fear 

The hard truth is I have to listened to my mother’s every tear

The hard truth my parents yelled and screamed ,and I heard the fighting year after year 

The hard truth is I spent my childhood wishing I could just disappear 

 

The hard truth is I saw my father beat my mother till her back was red 

The hard truth other kids were afraid of the mythical monster under their bed

The hard truth is I was afraid of my father instead 

The hard truth is I slept in-between my parents in fear if I didn't when I woke up my mother would be dead

 

The hard truth is I raised my mother not the other way around 

The hard truth is when my mother left my father I was proud 

The hard truth is I was relived to not have their fighting weighing my down 

The hard truth is I find these words hard to write down

 

The hard truth is my mother had a fairy tale wedding to my step-dad and I was glad 

The hard truth is when we moved for his job I didn't miss my real dad

The hard truth is living in a new place with no one I knew I started to feel bad

The hard truth is I got depression I felt so sad

 

The hard truth is not three months after we moved my mother got cancer 

The hard truth is I couldn't help her I didn't have the answer

The hard truth is I am the balancer 

The hard truth is I have been balancing my school taking care of mom and being a dancer

 

The hard truth is it took till recently to realize I'm not my mother's keeper 

The hard truth is I'm discovering who I am away from my mother; my co-dependent leader 

The hard truth is I am a dreamer 

The hard truth is I want to be a leader and a teacher

 

The hard truth is that took me eighteen years to see

The hard truth is I believe

The hard truth is to survive I need to be free

The hard truth is that will take just being me! 

 

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