I am the history of us

To my younger siblings

--who are separated

And feeling

I abandoned you

 

As your oldest sibling, I take responsibility for our parting

I endure the troubled memories of our past

A burden to carry alone

Remnants of it pack itself deep in my mind

Replaying, time frozen, never growing up

A reminder that I will forever be a stranger to you

 

As your oldest sibling, I was more a motherly figure than our own mom

I made your food

Comforting you when you were hurt

I stayed up alone waiting for our blood to come back

For our family to be whole

 

Over the years there is not one day I don’t think of you

That is my curse

Remembering only the version of you when you were young

Crying, in pain

Asking for a mother who was more like a ghost

Nonexistent

 

By now my face will be the face of a stranger

Someone you have no attachment to

A young woman sitting afar

--who looks at your mature face and doesn’t recognize her younger brothers

 

Your name is as foreign to me as listening to another language

Accomplishments that are a milestone in your life are unknown to me

My heart holds love

Fueled by the memory of you

 

I learned to grow up a long time ago

A curse that wasn’t bestowed upon you

A gift that has given me the drive to go on with my life

Extend my education

Creating a path you don’t have to follow, but will signify a guide to your success

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741