I am made of home

 

Home is a kitchen covered with ugly red and white striped wallpaper

Dark green cabinets 

A mess of papers and reminders and magnets and pictures covering the fridge 

until you could no longer see its white color

The smell of homemade cheesecake with just a hint of lime zest

Making my mouth water with its perfectly hand formed graham cracker crust

 

Home is the itchy grass scratching at my bare feet

As I run to the other side of the yard 

Dodging cousins and out of breath with an adrenaline rush

Trying to find a hidden flag without being tagged 

 

Home is a baby doll named Annie

Going everywhere with me

Her belly filled with little beads

And her hard head covered with hair formed by my purple crayon

One eye about to fall out

Ugly and dirty but precious to me

 

Home is pretending

I'm Princess Theresa from South America

Wearing beautiful floral scarves

With a mismatched sequin skirt

Clothes fit only for a princess

I'm a little girl living on a prairie 

Wearing a floral embroidered bonnet 

With a matching floral sundress

I am the ice queen

With the power to control ice crystals

But only when wearing my snowflake pajamas

I battle the hot fire my cousin controls

The fire burns red like the pajamas he wears 

 

Home is twirling around the living room

like a graceful ballerina

Forgetting that I have no grace

Then growing dizzy with a headache

Until I slam my eye on the rocking chair

And it swells up, black

And I scream from the sharp pain

Quickly covering my eye with ice

 

Home is throwing toys out of my room angrily

When I realize I'm in trouble

Anger turns in to fear of the spanking in my future

Then the burn of the paddle makes me instantly regret my actions

I vow never to make the same mistake again

Then I do that very thing the next day

 

Home is playing soccer

I'm terrified to cross the white line on the freshly cut grass 

Though my coach says it's ok 

I sweat as I work hard to get the ball past the line and out of my territory

Then I wait patiently for the ball to come back 

So I can defend my territory again

 

Home is the taste of sparkling grape juice bubbling on my tongue

Making me feel just like the adults

 

Home is not understanding the sarcastic tone in my parents' voice as they say "No, you can't go to the bathroom" 

 

Home is having to pee so bad

When my pa(grandpa) is tickling me so much I can't speak to tell him

I'm out of breath but filled with joy

Not knowing that this is my last day with him

Tomorrow he'll be gone

 

Home is my grandma's smile 

Brightening my sour mood

Until my eyes fill with tears as I'm told I'll forget her

My heart longing to hold onto every moment

But the memories already fading away

 

Home is the sound of the words "I love you more" 

In the Beatles song "In my Life" that will forever remind me

Of my grandma's voice saying those exact words

As she wins the game of showing love

 

Home is Simon and Garfunkel playing on the radio

With my mom complaining about how depressing it is

I'm finding peace in its familiar sound that will always bring me back 

to the comfort and love waiting for me 

back in the home that made me