I am more than

I want but true affection rather than that produced by guilt desperate to stay one you succumb to old habits and donate no reassurance i doubt in cycles and I am at the top of the ferris wheel i see the land and not the man next to me am I more than just a variety of frozen food and prepared meals and the occassional agressive "ive missed you" exhaled between kisses i am acustomed to your familiarity and your soap scent and harsh tongue your lashes at my best men but you are calming but you are rough waves i am tired of being brushed against the shore i should be the ocean