I Am More Than a Number

"I am more than a number"

Is a lie because

Numbers define my worth

I know that

A life worth living is defined by numbers so

I remain unconvinced that

"I am more than a number"

I know

I am the number on the scale and

You are wrong to believe

I am more than a number on a piece of paper

At the end of the day

How I grew from failure

Is so much less important than

The fact that I failed

I will always remember that

Each breath I struggled to take

Means less than

Each breath I have ever taken with ease

If my worth is simplified

My baggage is capable of defining me

So it's impossible to assume that

I am more than the bags under my eyes

Surely

Numbers determine the value of an item

In the same way that

Numbers determine my value

I do not see how

Being an individual

Could change

This

But

I am as strong as my weakest moment

I refuse to heed the idea that

Some circumstances are beyond my control and

Simply opportunities to prove my strength because

Obstacles are

Irrefutable and absolute for

Nothing is

Up to me

Everything is

Limited by my past failures so

I will never be

Successful because

Only numbers can determine whether or not I am

It's a lie to say that

"If I am happy, I am successful"

I know that

The numbers

Will determine

My ability to do great things

I know

These numbers as a representation of my worth

Not

As a representation of my progress

I will know numbers to be true

My senior year

The above poem is about my personal experience struggling for years with undiagnosed ADHD and then, once diagnosed at the end of my freshman year, desperately comparing myself to and trying to catch up with my peers. I felt undervalued, insecure in my abilities in just about everything I did, and constantly anxious about my performance. As I matured through high school, I've embraced the way I think, my creativity, my passion, and my ability to observe and appreciate a variety of perspectives. I've learned my worth and potential contribution to society are not determined solely by statistics. My poem above, when read from beginning to end, reflects my mindset as a high school freshman when, under the weight of my uncontrolled thoughts, budding and bursting in my mind, I was unable to earn the grades I wanted, despite spending innumerable hours studying and working toward that goal. When read from end to beginning, however, my poem shows my current mindset and how I have been able to reach higher goals than I ever would have imagined, now that I have learned to understand and appreciate the way my mind works. I hope you will take a moment to read my poem aloud from end to beginning so you can hear my voice, my struggle and my triumph.