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I Am My Own.

November 6, 2015

Under surveillance

I polish the way I move

Try to look busy in order to be ignored

Approaching me anyway

He sits very close to me

As if my space is open territory

I acted as the Girl.

He acted as the Man.

As I see the hatred seep into his skin

I look to my flesh and see the same being done to mine

Only I am not aware of his trying heart

I am only aware of the afflictions he leaves

When I turn into his mirror

My words become reflective

And my eyes are replaced by his

Having trouble embracing the new found blindness

It makes me uneasy being comforted by my self-flagellation

How crawling beneath floorboards feels better than walking through hallways

Where once I was found

Now I am lost

Until fragments of clarity start to burst within me

I know I no longer have to be a host for his thoughts

The antiquated remnants of his process will still linger

But he can no longer claim my universe

I am not a human shaped apology.

I am not his failures.

I am my own.

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Comments (1)

EL10082Nov 6, 2015

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Under surveillance</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I polish the way I move</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Try to look busy in order to be ignored</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Approaching me anyway</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He sits very close to me </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As if my space is open territory</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I acted as the Girl.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He acted as the Man.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I see the hatred seep into his skin</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I look to my flesh and see the same being done to mine</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Only I am not aware of his trying heart</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am only aware of the afflictions he leaves</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I turn into his mirror</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My words become reflective</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My eyes are replaced by his</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Having trouble embracing the new found blindness</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It makes me uneasy being comforted by my self-flagellation</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How crawling beneath floorboards feels better than walking through hallways</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Where once I was found</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I am lost</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Until fragments of clarity start to burst within me</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I no longer have to be a host for his thoughts</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The antiquated remnants of his process will still linger</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.656;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But he can no longer claim my universe</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not a human shaped apology.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc1037a5-dda9-29c6-8c30-8ecf00d71521"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not his failures.</span><br class="kix-line-break" /><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-family: Arial; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am my own.</span></span></p><div> </div>

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