I Am Powerful

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 19:32 -- CoNull

Ten years of Anxiety's stuttering tongues,

fast shaking hands, and numbing of lungs,

did much more damage than I'd ever thought.

By the time I was grown I was crying a lot.

 

Nine tiny letters, written from fear. 

crumpled and burnt over many of years.

With words smeared and small, and tears thick as mud,

I wondered if nothing was thicker than blood. 

 

Eight parents fighting, too proud and too sad

to realize the family that they could have had. 

With children off playing, us two stayed in waiting

and heard things we realized we never should have. 

 

Seven small pains, hidden and strong.

No one remembers where things first went wrong. 

Was if when they were glad? Maybe when they were mad?

Was it when my best friend called me withered and sad?

 

Six years of Depression, painful and tedious.

Grins filled with teeth never looked more devious. 

Tired of trying but trying to stay,

I thought nothing would ever keep the thoughts away. 

 

Five states away, six friends laughing with cheer

brought a grin to my face for the first time in years. 

For the first time in ages, I laughed and wrote pages

lacking in tear drops and void of all fears.

 

Four little pills, colored green and then purple.

helped me jump over my largest of hurdles. 

Days and then weeks turned to months, and soon years

will have passed without letters, without pains, without fears. 

 

Three full school days, exhausting in past,

Makes me look forward to smiling at last.

With years filled with sadness, and pages of death,

I realize today I have many years left. 

 

Two little sisters, fighting and rolling,

make me prouder and prouder with each day unfolding.

Bringing feeling and meaning to each of my days,

I have to be careful to not drown them in praise.

 

One realization that all that was needed

was my understanding that I wont be unheeded. 

I have a strong head to keep me a float,

and friends and a family to help me not choke.

 

Zero tears shed over meaningless things,

or anxiety over colors and rings.

Seventeen years and through times long and harmful

I can finally declare, loud and proud,

"I Am Powerful."

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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