I am Ready but I am Scared

I spend many years waiting for that person to treat me like a princess.  I did not commit in the past because I knew deep down in my heart neither person was truly ready for the commitment of my heart. If I wasn’t ready, then they sure were not ready for me. I have found something greater then what I was expecting- someone who will love me for me and someone who would go to the ends of the earth to find my happiness, no our happiness. It kind of reminds me of myself. Think this situation is past being perfect. It is so imperfect it’s perfect. Does that make sense? Look, I have spent many years trying to get over my fears of a broken heart. I have liked and loved people in the past, but I knew it wouldn’t work out. But this… this is something that both would make an effort to be the best… it scares me because I have never truly wanted to commit to something so close yet something so far away. I have doubted my feelings because for years I have doubted others and put my guard up. I have opened my heart and let my guard down, but I feel it coming back up. Is it because I am scared? Is it because I am actually not ready? Well, do I even need to be “ready”? I live my life by saying fuck it sometimes. Do I just say fuck it and go for it? I am not torn weather I like him or not, because my heart has told me I do and my mind does too. I think I need to let go of my transgressions; move from my past and just let it happen. Don’t think of so far in the future, but maybe a few weeks or a month or so. Open my heart, spirit, and mind, because weather I like it or not, those feelings aren’t going away just yet.

 

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