I Am Sorry
Dear my past self,
this is long overdue, but...
I Am Sorry...
I Am Sorry that you grew up thinking that your life wasn't worth more than dirty pennies.
I Am Sorry that you could never find one good thing about yourself because you internalized the oppression of external perspectives.
My love, I Am Sorry that the people that are suppose to guide you in this world abandoned you and now you feel unwanted.
I Am Sorry that the guns, knives, and pill bottles made more sense to you than any mathmatical equation or peice of literature.
But i will NOT apologize for who you have become, because she is beautiful beyond measure.
I will NOT apologize for the cuts on your wrist because they are wounds of a warrior; and they tell the best version of your battle plan.
I will NOT aplogize for the tears that you have cried because they gave nourisment to the cracks within your heart, so that you may grow.
I will Not apologize for the drugs that created some kind of euphoria for your soul, because they showed you that reality is inescapable.
And i sure as hell WON'T apologize for the tourment that you created in your own head.
Each little doubt--
Each little fear--
Each little imperfection has formed you into the person you are today.
Why would i ever apologize for becoming powerful, worthy, inspirational; and most of all, merciful.
You have done something that many people die trying to do....
Forgiving others; and the hardest of all, forgiving for yourself.