I Am Sorry

Dear my past self,

this is long overdue, but...

I Am Sorry...

I Am Sorry that you grew up thinking that your life wasn't worth more than dirty pennies.

I Am Sorry that you could never find one good thing about yourself because you internalized the oppression of external perspectives.

My love, I Am Sorry that the people that are suppose to guide you in this world abandoned you and now you feel unwanted. 

I Am Sorry that the guns, knives, and pill bottles made more sense to you than any mathmatical equation or peice of literature. 

But i will NOT apologize for who you have become, because she is beautiful beyond measure. 

I will NOT apologize for the cuts on your wrist because they are wounds of a warrior; and they tell the best version of your battle plan. 

I will NOT aplogize for the tears that you have cried because they gave nourisment to the cracks within your heart, so that you may grow. 

I will Not apologize for the drugs that created some kind of euphoria for your soul, because they showed you that reality is inescapable. 

And i sure as hell WON'T apologize for the tourment that you created in your own head. 

Each little doubt--

Each little fear--

Each little imperfection has formed you into the person you are today. 

Why would i ever apologize for becoming powerful, worthy, inspirational; and most of all, merciful. 

You have done something that many people die trying to do....

Forgiving others; and the hardest of all, forgiving for yourself.