I am a Star

I am a star.

I was born into darkness

the vacuum of a fatherless home

the murky nebula of a bipolar mother

the space where no one could hear me scream.

Succumbing to the near absolute zero of depression, anxiety

bombarded by the gamma rays of the wrong crowd for years on end

steadily amassing pressure from bad choices, bad people, bad home.

Pressure mounted, the space around me changed.

The fatherless vacuum filled.

Then

Genesis.

I am the hot fusion of a second chance and a troubled past,

The fission of who I once was and who I can be.

I am a star.

The nuclear reactions that wrought me into being

cause me to burn bright

not because I want to, but rather,

if I didn’t

I would succumb to my own mass--

my demons

the gravity of my sins, shortcomings, tragedies

would cause me to implode

into a blackhole.

A darkness so powerful that not even light can escape;

devouring all things, all happiness.

So I burn bright by necessity

the fire in my belly keeps me alive.

I am a star.