I Am Still Here

Sometimes I'm wrong.

I can live with that.

Sometimes I make mistakes.

I can live with that.

Sometimes I fail instead of succeed and don't reach my own expectations,

my own needs,

my own wants, let alone what others want,

need,

and expect.

I can live with that.

Because

I never give up,

or fall down or frown,

or collapse or fall fast, 

or cry or fly,

or cringe or wait at the fringe.

Sometimes I think 

"Ohmygod howamigoingtodothis?"

Those thoughts course through my mind

And I obsessively check the time

I don't think I'll meet the deadline

But I won't end up dead, I know I'll be fine

I just want a moment of solace

But my solace is found through completion

Giving up seems so easy and solid

But giving up never gives a reason

To me, giving up is not flawless

To me, veterans who have season

Don't ever doubt their calling

Don't ever commit self-treason

For 17 years, I've screamed

"I am still here."

And I won't change what that means.

I know it's clear

That the first time I will give in

Is the last time I will ever see

But before I'm in the recycling bin

I'll be happy with my flawless memories.