I Am Tired

I am tired.
Tired to be your second plans.
Tired to write poems.
And write my feelings on them.

I am tired to make sentences rhyme.
Rhymes don't just come at anytime.
Besides that I am the writer,
And I write this however I want.

I am tired of everything.
It all seemed pretty in the beginning.
Now I am just love sick.
And it will take time to stop this feeling.

I am tired of making efforts.
I always say yes.
I always give my everything.
And expect nothing from it.

I am tired of fakeness.
I am trying to be someone,
They are dying to see.
And taking my mask off cannot be on my plans.

I am tired of living by expectations,
Starting things I am not into.
All of that just to please you,
And you don't realize what I did for you.

I am tired of being in charge.
It feels like it is just me talking to a wall.
Everybody seems to notice that.
But the wall pays me more attention.

I am tired of changes.
From the sweet person I thought you were,
To the stranger you are today.
And I miss your old self.

I am tired of secrets.
They know more than I do,
But I don't say anything about it.
And I find out in the worse way.

I am tired of your silence.
It is killing me slowly.
I miss the old written conversations,
And to read them until I fall asleep.

I am tired of being hurt.
Even though I will get hurt either way,
I feel it doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts me.
And my scars can agree with me.

I am tired.
Sadly, not of you.
The truth is that I can't get enough of you.
And I can't find a way to stop that.

I am tired of writing.
There are too many things I am tired of.
Most of them include you.
And some do not.

I am just really tired.
Tired and also energetic,
Because I feel both when it is about you.
And that is because without me wanting,

I fell in love with you.