I am unsure

I am unsure of I have went heartless, numb, or pearlized by all of the loveless relationships . I could lose someone close , probably won't shed a tear. Its tattooed in my brain that nothing last forever. How could you stay so long then turn around and leave ? It never made since . I've gotten used to it. Before getting emotional attached , I always remind myself that there will come a day when they leave, so prepare. When was the last time I cried ? I dont know . I felt tears whaling up , but they didn't fall. I am sure that would felt nice. That probably would have made me feel more human. My emotions are more selfish , then selfless. Could it be that I have went heartless ? I've trusted so many people with it. pieces of my heart are on the bottom of there shoe, under there finger nails, and in the trash pile. Could I have went numb ? Not reacting to things , as I should. Can't feel that heart break I got shot in my heart and I couldn't feel the bullet pierce My soul drained from me , but yet to lose sight of my dreams . Could I have went pearlized ? I can't get emotionally attached even if I tried. I have been hung , thoug sliced, tongue chopped, kicked in the face, and felt none of it. I see your mouth moving , but your words have no effect or power over me. you wanna leave okay , I'll cherish our memories. Sexual and non sexual relationship come to a end. No this isnt a me being bitter , I am something else , but bitter isnt the word. my love was burned up and over cooked, and served for the dogs to eat. what do you think those loveless relationships did ?