I am who I made myself to be

Maybe her because she held traits I never knew could have existed in me for me 

she walked, talked and knew how to carry herself with such poise that was lost in all the noise being made from my insecurities living and criticizing me as stood with my hands up screaming to have mercy. 

SPEAK say something important but instead I just reeked out the silence looming around waiting to consume any hope of self-love  

I had just waved shyly at puberty to only get sideways glances and profanity thrown back with the force of a broken heart. 

Laughing at the “jokes” because what else was I supposed to do, right? LOL, TTYL. 

I’m getting away finally high school where ya at, then boom I found her  

She was empowering, funny, gorgeous not me but her my best friend instead of giving me the scalpel to make myself better she gave me soap to wash away my insecurities, water to refresh my mind, and glasses to see myself better in the sunlight that had only blinded myself before. 

There she is right there, NO not her, NO not there, NO not my best friend but right there standing with enough assurance to tell you her thoughts, so much confidence to be fazed by your “jokes”  

I had finally found her but she was here all along she was mines and I hers because she was me 

That’s when I knew “I am who I made myself to be” and I’m glad to know she was never to far.