I am.... within myself

i am.... within myself.

but how can someone define oneself?

from the time i was four people said i would be nothing

never thinking i would grow up into something

being an alien within my fmily thinking does this make me different?

never knowing that when i grow up i would be brilliant.

smart? no. educated. something my family doesnt know,

never knowing all the places that i could go

im torn between staying and getting beat  by the one i love

or do i go and see what god has for me above

i leave, with the scars on my back and my past behind me

im free to start being who i want to be.

but is that enough? with my past still lingering

and my nightmares still haunting me, is it enough that im free?

no its not...i need more, i crave more, so what do i do?

standing on the edge of tomorrow which is not promise, what do i do?

i listen. to everything and everyone who is around me telling me im not alone.

i stand up to fight against every struggle in my life. i swing.

i know that ive hit every obstacle, but why am i not getting closer to the finish line and why does it hurt?

because the obstacle that are standing in my way of living my life... well they are me

i am....

i am... within myself keeping myself from being free

but im done... i am....