I Believe

I believe in self expression. 

I am the way I am today because of what influenced me when I was younger: the way my parents interacted in different situations, the way kids at school would speak and how I viewed certain things. I think about things the way I do because of the actions that came after those thoughts. My thoughts are my voice- most times they stay unheard. 

I believe that the world doesn’t revolve around me. That this world will continue spinning even when I’m gone and the sun should continue shining. Never dying. I believe in astrology too much and how our stars don’t align. I believe people can touch the sky without being high, SOKO’s angelic voice sang “I’mma recovering addict and sometimes I relapse”

I believe in fiction and wanting something ordinary. In space but never ignoring. In holding things in and sharing secrets with someone you don’t ‘trust’. I believe that books are a secret pathway to somebody’s past life. Stephen Elliott wrote, “Just promise me your devotion” ever since that loyalty has become priority. 

Tuesday sang:

“Sale sola de noche María

Pena por la ciudad

Recorriendo las calles que un día

Negó besos en la oscuridad”

Its hopelessness is a charming lyric lingering around the ears of those who are hopeless. The radio never stopped playing it, making us grow in love with it, dancing to its emptiness. 

I believe in self expression. 

In attachment and separation. That hate is stronger than love but being rude can be a sign of affection. That stubbornness is awkward comedy. And jealousy is unhealthy recovery. I believe in age but not in numbers. I believe people are going through things I won’t understand. 

I believe in poetry. And how it can be used to make you feel purity. I believe in regretting impulsive decisions.  And in reminiscing over things you still have.  

I believe in self expression. Or identity. Definitely second guessing. In my insecurities. I believe in the probability that we’re trapped in the hopes of yesterday.  

I believe tomorrow could be the end so we should worry.

I believe.